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The power of letting go!

contemplating girl

These few months during covid-19 lock down have forced us to be without many of the material fixations, that we once thought we needed to survive. But having them swiftly taken away from us, has shown us otherwise. Within a matter of minutes, the world switched from hustle and bustle to home-school, closure of parks, entertainment centres and shutting down places of work, leading to a world filled with fear, grief and uncertainty. The pause button was hit, was it time to invite Self care into our slowly freeing up schedules? Was the buzz of adrenalin some of us busy peeps crave, slowly coming to a simmer?

Without much notice, these times have forced us to let go of the unimaginable.

But how do you let go if you find it hard to let go?



One helpful tool is to align yourself with things that really matter. Find out your values and beliefs that are important to you and park the other stuff. Is it happiness, peace, fulfillment? Once you identify it, hold on to that!

Ask yourself, if this problem is going to really matter in a year or even 5 years?


“Yes, but, what if I end up worse than I started?” is often the question asked. My answer is if you are truly aligning with your desires, passions and your heart, then you are opening up to the higher universe and allowing yourself to receive what you truly desire. Don’t underestimate the power of manifesting. Write that down. Write what you would like to have in your life. If you get stuck, think about the things that you don’t want, then write down the opposite and turn them into a positive list. Keep the note near your pillow or somewhere you can read it out loud daily. Sometimes things can happen so fast, like you might meet a new connection or find a new place that can lead you to where you desire to be. Freaky stuff the universe has to show us, I have found that the things I wish to manifest, have even happened the next day, no joke! (Thank you universe with prayer hands emoji!!) The other things that take longer may be due to the timing being not quite right, and you usually can take this down time to nurture, self care and rebuild yourself.


Things, people or series of events that leave you feeling uninspired, negative, and stuck, are signs that it is time to let go. Obsessing about insignificant things does not help anybody and leaves you in an unhealthy state of physical and mental health. Overburdening thoughts can appear while you’re trying to sleep, or work and ultimately lead to you feeling burned out. When you have fully explored all options with an issue, then it is time to detach.

Hand over the problem to your highest good, pop it in your cupped hands and throw it up into the air for something more powerful to deal with.


“When perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”Brene Brown

Perfectionists listen up, you are brilliant, you are you, what’s done is done, what will be will be. Letting go of the need to be perfect, can save so much time and energy for other things. Releasing the need to control things and letting the flow of life take its course may reduce the feelings of anxiety and not feeling good enough. Instead of worrying about disappointing others or reaching impossible goals you set for yourself, focus on what you are and have now, and be proud of yourself for coming this far.



No matter how hard you want to help someone change their behaviour, they will only do it when they are ready. Yes, you can hint or guide them in the right direction, but no amount of nagging or controlling is going to change your partner, friend, work colleague, or family member. Have you ever observed when a parent backs off, when often asked how the problem is going, they have forgotten about it, because they let go of the need to control and allowed nature to take its course. People need to be energetically, emotionally and physically ready for change, and when they are, you can be their number 1 supporter!


One of the most powerful actions you can do to let go of unwanted thoughts can be practicing mindfulness. Backed up with research this relaxed method of breathing can help you to accept that your life truly is beautiful right now. Focus on your in breath and out breath as you are bringing yourself back into the present. When our minds get lost in recurring or unwanted thoughts we are essentially living in the past or the future. Breathing mindfully can be the trick to anchor you and keep you grounded in the present.


One of the answers to letting go of thoughts is to challenge your beliefs. Notice your thoughts, where is it coming from? Is it deep frustration, a fear or sadness? Once you are aware of this thought acknowledge it. Seriously, have a chat to it, invite it for a cup of tea. This may make you laugh, and that’s the idea, perhaps shifting the thought to more of a lighthearted silliness, may change the perspective and therefore help you to release it.


Thanks for reading my tips on letting go. If you feel you need further help, then I suggest having a discussion with your health care provider for some emotional assistance.

Alysia Raftery is a Mum, a Women’s Health Naturopath, Myotherapist and Reiki Master. Alysia believes many mental health challenges can bring opportunities of growth. She encourages her patients to explore any emotional baggage alongside their physical issues, such as skin issues, exhaustion and hormonal imbalances.

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With love

Alysia X

Alysia Raftery

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